Something isn’t working. Some days, nothing is working.
Do you ever ask: “Is this what life comes down to?”
Maybe you worry it’s too late to change, that the foundation is already laid, that your life has become constrained by inescapable circumstances, and that past mistakes, hurts and injustices cannot be undone.
Perhaps worst are the moments when your only option left is to settle for the comfort of old ways. Then again, doesn’t cold comfort feel better than no comfort?
I suspect if you’re reading this, you have been wondering if there is another way. At the same time, you may feel unsure how far you can go. Maybe you worry therapy will only make things worse.
Do you want to talk about it?
I have 16 years of clinical experience, am a past professor of psychology, published researcher, conference speaker, and I have been writing a book for several years now that I hope to release one day. I enjoy being a therapist.
My clinical areas of speciality include:
- Relationship patterns (e.g. mistrust, manipulation, fear of intimacy, codependency)
- Self-esteem (e.g. self-criticism; shame of one’s background, identity or appearance)
- Complex trauma and PTSD (e.g. childhood trauma, betrayal, near-death experiences, bullying)
- Family-of-origin issues (e.g. abuse, narcissistic family systems, scapegoating, estrangement)
- ‘Legal’ addictions (e.g. cannabis, alcohol, nicotine, gambling, pornography, sugar, caffeine)
- Personality disorders (e.g. narcissistic, borderline, obsessive-compulsive)
- Developmental disorders (e.g. ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome, birth defects)
- Spirituality (e.g. practicing connection to something greater than what can be directly observed)
The issues people see me for are often rooted in complex histories that have been going on for a long time, maybe their entire life. Some people enter treatment and already know what they need. Others may not know but are open to the process. And sometimes people might enter therapy knowing certain changes are not realistic but that therapy can be preventative medicine against worsening conditions.
My patients are typically midlife and young adults who seek therapy after a major life event or milestone has occurred. They often want to do a reassessment of their life, understand their relationship patterns, talk about things they may have never shared before, and become serious about lifestyle changes that must be made. Some have had prior therapy experiences or tried self-help, but it wasn’t personalized enough, the right time, or the right approach.
My approach is to adjust therapy to the person rather than adjust the person to the therapy. I make space for people to tell their story while I walk beside them. I listen with depth, ask good questions, and am interested in the special wisdom only one person can earn through individual lived experience. More than ‘just a listener’, I am genuine, interactive, and insightful. I believe that when talking works in therapy, the reason is because it leads to even more talking, if you get what I mean.
Regardless of your initial goals or how therapy evolves over time, my way of working strives to offer everyone the following:
- Insight into the reasons why you and other people are the way they are
- More flexibility in the ways you respond to life stress
- Greater emphasis on living a life of meaning than living a life of ‘optimization’
- Alignment of words and actions
- Balancing self-reliance and interdependence with others
- Enhanced ability to feel present in the world (not just being there physically)
- Enjoyment of professional work activity
- Improved ability to manage emotions in the face of adversity
- Self-esteem that is both realistic and reliable
- Increased empathy for yourself and others
- Working through long-term resentments
- Forgiveness and amends with others (and if unsafe to do so, finding alternative methods for closure)
- Practicing healthier boundaries
- Enhanced capacity for experiencing realistic genuine love
- A sense of aliveness and purpose in everyday life
- Acceptance of imperfections, limitations, and things that cannot be changed
I meet with people at a minimum frequency of 1x per week, but a higher frequency of 2-3x per week may be indicated depending on the patterns we are trying to address. This is a standard frame for psychodynamic/psychoanalytic therapy, which is how I am formally trained to practice. I am located in Massachusetts and work with patients remotely over Zoom from all around the United States, including: Massachusetts, Rhode Island, New Hampshire, California, Virginia, Louisiana, and Florida.
We don’t know each other yet. I recognize I am a new person in your life and that it may take time to feel like I have become someone familiar who you can show yourself to. By now, I have heard and seen it aIl. If you let me, I will walk the distance with you.
BOOK A FREE 15-MINUTE CONSULTATION
Contact me now for a free 15-minute Zoom consultation so we can talk about your interest in therapy and see if it feels like a good fit to work together. You can email me at info@pauljletendre.com or complete the form below. Please include a few days and times you are available for the 15-minute Zoom consultation.
“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” – Lao Tzu
