5 TOOLS FOR DEALING WITH CONFLICT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

  Many singles believe they suffer because they don’t have someone, but many partnered individuals will guffaw and say they suffer precisely because they have someone.   Falling in love is nowhere near as hard as keeping the love that you find. At some point, relationships invariably become messy. Couples find themselves in conflicts too torrential to maintain the blissful…

THE LONG-TERM EFFECTS OF SMARTPHONE CULTURE

If you’re reading this, I assume that, like me, you’re already acquainted with the benefits of owning a smartphone. You may even be reading this article on one. However, despite the advantages of this technology, many of us believe that our increasing reliance on smartphones is having deleterious effects on our social fabric.   Most of us wouldn’t wish to…

THE ILLUSION OF LOVE: WHY WE FALL IN LOVE WITH NARCISSISTS

A handsome male hunter once spurned the affection of a woman who followed and admired him. Neither her advances nor her beauty were enough to captivate him. To him, she was immaterial.   He left her behind, continued searching, hunting, and hoping to satisfy his hunger. When he tired, he came upon a lake to rest. As he peered down…

THE PAIN PARADOX

We instinctually try to move away from experiences that are painful and move toward experiences that are pleasurable, but when we try to avoid pain entirely, we often suffer.   Pain can be best thought of as discomfort, whether it is emotional pain or physical pain. Relationship difficulties, physical health issues, and any time when things are generally not going…

HOW TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP LAST BY BREAKING UP

In the west, there is a rather common trajectory to how many relationships form and dissolve. It goes something like this…   You meet someone great – through mutual friends, the internet, or at the office. If luck is on your side and the timing is right, there is a mutual chemistry between the two of you to coalesce the…

LIFE IS A NEVER-ENDING RECOVERY

A woman once visited a friend of mine – a Dharma Teacher – for meditation instruction. He showed her how to sit, how to maintain good posture, and he even gave her a mantra to use to stay present when her mind would inevitably begin to wander. They sat together for ten minutes.   When the sitting period finished, the…

5 EXAMPLES OF DEFENSE MECHANISMS IN SOCIAL PREJUDICE AND DISCRIMINATION

Social justice movements and psychoanalytic therapists don’t often realize they both share a common aim: “to raise consciousness.” Social justice activists have historically emphasized social awareness, whereas psychoanalytic therapists have focused on the individual’s self-awareness. In this post, I aim to apply the psychoanalytic concept of defense mechanisms to five areas of social discrimination and prejudice. As the old adage…